Rob The Hockey Guy

// A Vancouver Canucks Hockey Blog

Why We Hate: The Chicago Blackhawks

delorme

“Why we hate”: an ongoing series analyzing the teams, players, and things that piss Canucks fans off the most. Today’s edition is the Canucks opponent on Friday: the Chicago Blackhawks.

History:

1974: League re-alignment places the Canucks and Blackhawks together in the newly formed Smythe Division.

1982: First ever playoff meeting between the Canucks and Blackhawks. In game 2 of the series (the only game the Hawks won), Towel Power is born (Canucks go on to win the series 4-1).

towel-power

The ‘82 series got ugly on several occasions, particularly in Game 5:

1995: Blackhawks sweep Canucks in Western Conference Semis with back to back overtime winners from Chris Chelios.

1995-2009: we sucked, then they sucked, then we sucked again, then they sucked again.

2009: Patrick Kane (who makes 6 million dollars a year) assaults a Cab driver in a dispute over 20 cents!!! What an asshole.

kane

**mugshot from Kane’s subsequent arrest**

2009: Dustin Byfuglien punches Roberto Luongo in the head, inciting a line brawl.

2009: Alex Burrows pulls Duncan Keith’s hair (yes, you read that right).

hair

**most likely in an attempt to investigate a skin discoloration Burrows had noticed on Keith’s scalp, which he was concerned may have been melanoma.To date, Keith has yet to thank Burrows. (It’s called free health care, look it up.)**

2009: Blackhawks eliminate Canucks in the second round of the playoffs.

2010: Andrew Ladd blindsides Ryan Kesler.

Kesler calls Ladd a “coward” in post-game press conference.

2010: Blackhawks eliminate Canucks in the second round of the playoffs (again).

2010: This happens:

vaughn

** Go fuck yourself, Vince Vaughn**

2011: Raffi Torres levels Brent Seabrook. Jonathan Toews after the game – “It’s just concrete evidence of how much we dislike this team”.

2011: Canucks eliminate Blackhawks in the first round of the playoffs.

2011: Dave Bolland publicly refers to the Sedin Twins as “The Sedin Sisters” (sweet burn, bro!).

2011: Vingneault responds, equates Bollands IQ to birdseed (maybe it stings more in the original French?).

2012: Duncan Keith brutally elbows Daniel Sedin in the mouth. Keith suspended for 5 games.

sedin

** Blackhawks fans come up with this beauty in response**

2013: Jannik Hansen suspended 1 game for hitting Marian Hossa on the back of the head.

1926-Present: Blackhawks and their fans regularly dawn racially insensitive/offensive garb. Also act like idiots.

racist

**note shitty Chicago style deep dish facial hair**

Who we hate:

s-PATRICK-KANE-large

  1. Duncan Keith- That elbow on Daniel was inexcusable, also once sneered at me through the glass during a pre-game warm up (true story).
  2. Patrick Kane- Will punch any working class citizen in the face for 20 cents (proven fact).     
  3. Dustin Byfuglien and Ben Eager- I know they’re gone, but fuck those guys anyway.

It is widely recognized that the contemporary rivalry between the Blackhawks and Canucks began in earnest during the 2009 playoffs, kicked off by Dustin Byfuglien taking liberties in the Canucks crease by interfering with Roberto Luongo. To make matters worse, Byfuglien et al lit us up in the series, and we were subjected to this horseshit over and over and over again.

When Byfuglien pushed his luck, punching Luongo in the face just after a missed Chicago chance, the Canucks fought back. Ever since then it has been on.

The bottom line is that the Canucks and Hawks were two very talented young teams who came into their own at exactly the same time. It was inevitable that sparks would fly.

And fly they have.

Three playoff series and dozens of regular season meetings later, we hate them more than ever. They still play that shitty song all the time, target our star players with dangerous, stupid plays, and make ill-advised public comments regularly.

Also their city is a crime ridden dump:

chicago-ghetto

And their food is disgusting:

hot dog

**Honestly, who puts this kind of shit on a hotdog?**

Follow Stu on Twitter: @StuElmes

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5 Response to Why We Hate: The Chicago Blackhawks

  1. Stick in Link: Milan Lucic thinks it over, says smarter things; weird Canuck goals on December 19, 2013

    […] • A very useful guide to why we hate the Chicago Blackhawks. [Rob The Hockey Guy] […]

    Reply
  2. LOLCanucksFans on December 19, 2013

    “Crime ridden dump” says the fan of a city who riots after losing. Why hate the Blackhawks? Probably just because they’re better than your Canucks. City, team, and organization wise.

    Reply
  3. LOLCanucksFans on December 19, 2013

    “Crime ridden dump” says the fan of a city who riots after losing. Why hate the Blackhawks? Probably just because they’re better than your Canucks. City, team, and organization wise.

    Reply
  4. Nic on December 20, 2013

    Applause.

    Reply
  5. Van Choke on January 30, 2014

    Your crime ridden dump picture is a picture of Detroit. And by the looks of it, back from the 80s. Typical Vancouver dolt.

    Reply

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